Book review: Five Love Languages: Singles Edition (1)

In my search of "self love", I was recommended this book.

I don't really know what I was expecting - I sort of guide maybe or some big revelation which would make me go "wow, so THIS is what I need to do" - it has not come yet, though to be fair, I am still on Chapter 3.

As per the author, adults who grew up in a "negative linguistic environment" somehow needs to work harder towards succeeding at delivering Words of Affirmation (which is one of the five languages). This made me stop to think if I am one of those adults?

My childhood was not particularly bad. I had a roof over my head, home cooked meals, I went to school with ease, I was taken care of when I was sick. I have siblings and cousins, I received the usual particular attention on my birthday. The one memory I would always cherish is my father gifting me a puppy for my 12th birthday - he was not the affectionate kind normally. But I grew up in a somewhat conservative family, where having friends, sleepovers and parties were not allowed. I was valued as long as I stayed in line, and got good grades. Like most muslim asian families, my parents were not affectionate - they did not tell me they loved me or hugged me when I was feeling sad, heck they would not even know when I was sad. But making sure that I had clothes on my back, and food to eat was their way of saying I love you I guess, and as an adult I appreciate this. So was my childhood one with a "negative linguistic environment" - no it was not. Saying that it was would be extremely ungrateful and selfish. My mother had a hard life, but I know she cared and she showed the love she had for me the best way she knew how to. She did not have the emotional intelligence to understand my fight with my inner self, or my fight with God and my loneliness.