There is finally no going back.

Too much has been said and done for any of us to forget. I am still in denial that I lost the status of "Wife", I lost the possibility of progress in a blissful marital life. Sometimes I wonder what kind of father he would have been, or how a child would have changed my life....I always had an uneasy sensation in my guts while having this thought....I was dreading it and pushing it further away. I was not ready to leave my comfort, or for my body to undergo such change - I knew even then that I would have had to finish this journey alone.